Sunday, December 11, 2011

Being ‘Man-Handled’ by James Deen

Turns out, these teens/tweens girls are onto something. Allow me to paint a picture for you. There is a Tumblr page { tumblr - james deen } that has been brought into focus by articles written recently about ‘Porn Women Like’.

So, as I am apt to do, I investigated - doing my research like the good girl that I am... And all I have to say is O-M-G.

To get to my point, I need to share some insights I've had over the last decade. Last summer, the house next door to mine was bought, torn down and over the last year, a new one was built. It gave me time to prove one of my theories true. What does this have to do with James Deen and porn you ask? Let me explain...

I have always been fascinated by construction crews. I will make a point to stop and watch these men working on projects. I watch the way they hold their tools, use their tools, apply the right effort or position themselves just so. Do they use a firm or loose hold, apply a delicate touch, stop to pause, plot or plan? Are they paying attention to their surroundings, their environment, to those around them? Or are they just laboring away, being lazy or bored and waiting for the work day to end? They will sweat, grunt, talk smack to each other or their selves and focus on their work as the day goes by. I can see from their faces that many of them get a satisfaction from their work that is very tangible. To see something mold from your hardworking hands is very satisfying.

And… to feel something yield with pleasure to your hands is very satisfying.

My epiphany years ago (and maybe it is to no one but me, but I enjoy my naiveté & innocence with no apology) was that being ‘man-handled’ during sex is very similar to how a man (and some lesbians) uses his work tools. So, I learned to observe how the men in my life approach their work. I watch them use their work-tools whatever they may be. This includes their minds, their voices, their eyes. I watch their faces and I gauge for the level of skill and focus. The amount of reward they get from their efforts. Their patience or level of persistence.

It’s part of why having studied body language (I use it in my profession every day)  is endlessly fascinating for me. I study and observe people for many reasons, but I am just as guilty about wondering who would make for a good lover.  Two of my favorite body parts on a man is his fore-arms and his hands. They have a sex appeal for me that has been hard to explain. Coincidence?

So back to our little tween/teen gilrs tumblr page on James Deen. These ‘girls’ are on to something. You see, part of what has always annoyed the hell out of me about most porn is that the men in them often have so little finesse in how to man-handle a woman. Let me repeat this, very few male porn stars are seemingly capable of making female porn stars come and enjoy the sex they are filming. They just pump and pump and pump… in whatever orifice they want. And in an industry run by men, making other men arrive at their 'happy ending' however they can get there, this doesn’t surprise me. What has often puzzled me is that I find the female orgasm to be incredibly sexy. Don't male viewers as well?

Back to my body behaviorism skills. If you are paying attention, truly able to learn how to read the body language of human beings, you can tell when someone is experiencing something sincerely or just ‘pretending’ and acting, in other-words – deceiving you. Porn actresses who are working with James Deen are getting more than just a nice pay-check at the end of the day. For the most part, they don’t have to pretend or act (as much). Truth is, the man is one of the most natural modern day ‘Pans’ that I’ve watched. Who is Pan you ask? Well, allow me to enlighten you. Check out the wikipedia page for an overview { wiki - Pan }.

Ultimately, Pan’s companions are nymphs. Yes, nymphs. And his season is spring, the season of fertility. If you have studied mythology at all, you will know that Pan is mischievous and very, very good in the sack. And he likes to chase nymphs. Luckily for me, most of the nymphs that were painted who were frolicking with Pan are very ‘rubenesque’.

So how does James Deen do it? Well, he knows all the female touch ‘points’. He is engaging and arousing a woman from the moment they start. He knows how to pace the process and he knows the phases of female climax. He switches up his technique, slow to fast, soft to hard - provides variety. He leans in for more intimate contact and kisses women before during and after their fuck-fest. He holds their gazes, will provide guidance and shows a sense of consideration. He checks for wetness and lubrication. He dominates, holding just so, using different penetrative approaches, brings in a bit of the animalistic instinct that is inherently a part of all sex. He mixes it up and doesn’t ever just soley jack-hammer the hell out of a woman’s orifice, expecting that to do the trick like some sad solo act on the stage. (just for the sake of brevity here, I stayed with his more ‘vanilla’ genres, to do my research)

As one tumblr blogger { speromeliora } wrote: "the main point that interests me is the complexity of being a feminist, believing in sex positivity, supporting women’s right to enjoy whatever kind of sex they want without judgement, while also watching & enjoying porn which degrades women, whether that’s through submission, violence or simply the reinforcement of gender stereotypes. this has always been an issue which has made me uncomfortable as a woman who likes porn, & i often find it hard to explain or justify my choices, both in terms of the porn i watch, & the kind of sex which i enjoy. however, as i read through the comments i kept coming back to the undeniable fact: James Deen’s porn feels different. why? because he actually looks like he’s into it. it doesn’t look like 99% of porn where it’s all just an elaborate show. he looks like he’s having a good time & so do the women & whether that’s true or not, that’s hot."

So, he has managed to do two things. He is connecting with the porn actresses AND he is connecting with his audience, his viewers. Guess what? What percentage of his audience is women? As compared to the viewership of other porn? Those are some business stats I would love to know at this point in the game. And he is making teens/tweens girls cream their jeans. Me too for the matter.

He knows that most woman, if man-handled properly, will yield to a man as her tool of pleasure. And that is what I am talking about folks. 

Porn uses certain types of men typically, and they are often bigger, taller, brawnier than James Deen. And this has been one of my complaints for years as well. The ideal of male attractiveness in porn just hasn’t ever rocked my world. I will pass on a football player any day of the week and go straight for the runner or swimmer. The geeky nerd or the starving artist. Truth is, the leaner you are, the more likely I am attracted. This woman doesn’t need ‘beef-cake’ and I definitely don’t want some ‘pounder’ who believes that penetration alone will get me to come or make me beg for more. 

Along with his slender physique and 5’8” frame, boyish quality and some seriously cute baby-blues - the man has some serious, crazy-ass, sex appeal.  Most importantly - he is a man who knows how to use what he’s got. Part of what he’s got is a fucking wicked, conniving Pan nature that enjoys, genuinely enjoys women and having sex with them. He craves their responses to how he man-handles them, how he yields himself as their tool of pleasure. He will do absolutely anything he can to get them there... I can’t speak to his deep thoughts or intellectual rousings (although I suspect they may be there, hiding out as most of the jew-boys I have enjoyed are smart mother fuckers), but as a lover and sexual penetrator – he has a friggin clue! What I was on to over 15 years ago is now making all the teens/tweens swoon. And you know what boys and girls? It’s time for men and women to arrive to this conversation. If the porn industry wants to engage women for our money, PAY ATTENTION.

I only have one complaint and it is pretty serious. Why are only the skinny bitches getting a taste of this modern day porn Pan Man? Us fat chicks need one too!! (smile, yes – I can be very snarky when I want to be…)

No, no – I want to be man-handled. All women do, even the ones who don’t know it yet. James, lead the revolution. And thank you…

Ruby M

p.s. here is James Deen with his ‘ruby’, absolutely a gorgeous erotic pic if I ever saw one…